Girl Meets Fake
Scene: Cory's classroom
Riley: So, what do you think we're going to learn today?
Maya: I don't even remember what our last lesson was about.
Cory: Okay. What do you think we're going to talk about today?
Farkle: Riley's issues? Riley's issues? Riley's issues? Hmm, one more thing... Oh yeah! Riley's issues?
Cory: It might shock you guys that that's not all I talk about.
Lucas: I don't think...
Riley: Just admit it, Dad. I am your favorite daughter.
Cory: You are my only daughter.
Riley: Don't focus on details. So, what are we talking about today?
Cory: Fakers. Did you know that more than half of the kids in this school pretend to be something they aren't?
Farkle: Well, not me.
Maya: How you doin', Donney Barnes?
Riley: Am I faking anything?
Cory: I don't know. Are you? (Pause) I just want you all to know that an original is always worth more than a copy. And if you pretend to be something you aren't, you will not do well in life.
Scene: Matthew's Apartment
Auggie: Mommmy, do you think I should start wearing a tie to school?
Topanga: Not unless it's Pretend To Not Be Yourself week. Why do you want to wear a tie.
Auggie: Because Ava says that a good gentlemen would get dressed up. I don't have any ties, so I'm going to take one of Daddy's.
Topanga: Wait, wait, wait. Ava told you this?
Auggie: Yes. And since we're married, we need to respect each other's wishes. Well, at least I do. Yesterday when I told Ava she should stop wearing high heels, she stuck her tongue out at me and called be a slug.
Topanga: Oh, honey, you don't need to change yourself just because Ava told you that you aren't a little gentleman. (Door opens, Riley and Maya walk through and sit down at the table)
Riley: Am I faking anything?
Maya: Auggie, am I faking something?
Auggie: I dunno. I need me a tie. (Walks off to Cory and Topanga's bedroom)
Topanga: Where is your father.
Riley: We left him on the Subway. Are we faking anything?
Topanga: I don't know. Are you? (Riley and Maya groan)
Maya: That's exactly was Mr. Matthews told us.
Riley: You guys are exactly the same.
Maya: Maybe that's why they married each other.
Riley: Mom, seriously. Are we faking anything?
Topanga: It seemes to me that if you're faking something, you would know it. What do you think, Cory?
Cory: I think that's true. So, what are we going to do about it?
Riley: We should get all the kids in JQ Adams and tell them that it's better to be yourself.
Maya: But what if they don't listen to us?
Riley: Window. Window. Window this instant.
Topanga: (sighs) Remember when life wasn't so conplicated?
Cory: Those were the good ol' days.
Scene: Auditorium. Maya, Riley, Farkle, and Lucas are up there.
Riley: Good morning, JQ Adams. I guess you're wondering why we gathered all of you here today.
Boy: Not really!
Maya: Hey, if anyone wants to make rude comments, just get up and leave, alright? (Everyone starts to get up)
Riley, Maya, Farkle, and Lucas: SIT DOWN! (Students freeze and then sit down relunctantly)
Riley: As some of you may know, the history teacher is also my father. He told us that more than half the students in this school pretend to be something else that is not them.
Maya: Everyone is unique in their own way. So what if you're not crazy smart like Farkle?
Farkle: Thank you.
Maya: So what if you can't sing, can't draw, none of that matters. Who cares if you have braces or you're missing a finger. That's what makes you unique. Riley and I made up a little rhyme about that.
Both: Be unique, be unique. Don't worry 'bout being a freak. Just be yourself, be yourself. Don't worry 'bout being dumb as a shelf. Lucas: We're all friends here, and we all care about each other. So don't pretend to be something you're not.
Riley: And now a few words from my younger brother, Auggie.
Auggie: You don't need to wear a tie for your wife, because she still loves you, even if you are a slob.
All: Thank you! We are...
(Silence, then students start to clap)